(a lame joke-post that I don’t have the time to improve at the moment.)
The Totally Blind Brain Theory (TBBT) is that the “brain”, which is universally assumed to be an organic cognitive power (OCO), has no information whatsoever about itself. There isn’t a small trickle of the “brain’s” activity that it is aware of, but none at all. This includes not only information about supposed “brain” states, but even information that could justify the folk belief in “brains”.
TBBT is consistent with all findings about organic cognitive organs. Research into OCO’s other than “brains” has been incapable of finding one that can establish its own activity or even its own existence by the activity it is assumed to perform. Despite reporting that their tongue detected “taste sensations”, 96.7 of respondents could not determine what their tongue tastes like (and the majority of the remainder had colds). Comparative percentages were unable to hear the sounds of their own ears, despite the verifiable pulsing sounds within these organs from the auricular and external carotid arteries. Furthermore, all reports of persons “smelling their noses” were confirmed to be caused by objects lodged in the nose.
There was a mathematically significant finding of respondents who claimed to see their own eyes, but this turned out to involve the fallacy of equivocation. Most meant that they saw their eyes in a mirror or picture, though these are representations of eyes and not eyes. A smaller but still significant sub-group reported seeing the effects of their cataracts, but these were judged to not be eyes as such but corruptions of the ocular organ. Those reporting to “feel their skin” could not distinguish how this is different from feeling a condition induced into that organ, and so their reports are dismissed as either spurious or confused.
Though Folk Brain Theory (FBT) attributes thought to an OCO called “the brain”, research is incapable of establishing the existence of an OCO that can detect its activity from the information it is assumed to gather from the world. It appears that FBT is an illicit extrapolation from (i) the apparent unity of diverse senses i.e. our belief that honey is both sticky and sweet and (ii) our awareness that we have distinct sense organs, like eyes and ears. Both of these, however, are not sense intuitions but “meta-sense-intuitions” that detect not only sensation but their own act of sensing. But all research into OCO’s has determined that they are incapable of a self-referential intuition, and so what is called “the brain” can have no basis in scientific research.